YOU got into Law School? - What, like it's hard?

Ok so I will start again. I have now completely given up on getting any work done whatsoever and am going to dedicate my afternoon to sweet procrastination. Obviously this poses a significant challenge when the time comes later today to post my billed hours, but I feel creative enough today to be able to find something that looks sufficiently genuine, and will therefore proceed.

Some interesting facts you as my reader may appreciate follow henceforth:

1. I want to be a lawyer. You may shudder in some cases, or just run away screaming, but you won't be able to sway me. I wanted to be a lawyer since I was about 5 and watching the classic 80s success that was L.A. Law. Of course back then I failed to appreciate the sheer awfulness of the haircuts and excessive shoulder padding, but it was enough to convince me of my career direction. Of course it hasn't all been smooth sailing and that is what this blog is all about.

2. I'm blonde. Yes I am really genuinely blonde and you can save the jokes - I've heard them all and laughed at many. Therefore, I have often been likened to the preppy but not-as-stupid-as-you-would-think Elle Woods. Of course the significant differences between us are that I am considerablt less ditzy than she is and also that my ambition to be a partner in a major law firm and quote complete Acts of Parliament by heart has not originated from a breakup with a bonehead boyfriend who has gone off to Harvard to marry a Vanderbilt.

3. I can't afford Law School. Simple as that. I do not have £7000 tucked away somewhere or parents that are made of money. My parents are brilliant, I love them to pieces, but I wouldn't take money from them now even if they offered it as I know they don't have £7000 and it's about time I paid my own way for my whimsical career progression. My options stand thus:

a) Pray, beg and bribe the nice man at the bank to provide me with a loan to pay my fees. I spoke to him today and it turns out that the forms I sent in with great difficulty (involved all sorts of issues I would rather not delve into right now) were missing the photocopies of my passport, degree certificate and proof of acceptance which he took and gave me to send back to him. Occasionally my stupidity surpasses even Elle Woods. My memory of the moment was that he took them but clearly that was distorted and only returned to normal once he spoke the words. So felt quite stupid but thankfully the bank is open tomorrow and I can go in, have my things certified and pootle along to the Post Office next door and send them off to him. In theory - everything surrounding getting this loan has so far been a challenge so I will probably oversleep or something similar.

b) Pray, beg and bribe the nice people at City Lawyers LLP and Dewey, Cheatham and Howell etc to offer me a training contract and pay my fees along with a nice scholarship to live off. This preferably in combination with the loan in which case I can live off the loan.

c) Pray, beg and bribe the nice people at London Law School (that isn't the real name of it by the way) to consider me worthy of a scholarship and donate at least a little bit towards my extortionate fees.

d) Put it all on my credit card and hope for the best.

e) Pray, beg and bribe the nice people at Strippers-R-Us to give me a job that pays £1000pw.

Somehow I think option e is not very likely to happen... and I hope it doesn't come to that. If the choice is between taking my clothes off for a living and not going to Law School? Then Elle Woods will be disappointed to find I did not follow in her footsteps to greatness.